..and then the reality just hits you in the face.
You are trying to breath, seizing air with your dried lips, but all you feel inside is pain that comes out with tears.
They say that scars will heal soon.
But how much time it will take to heal a broken heart? Even if scars have disapeared from the surface, does it mean that it does not hurt anymore?
Sitting today at the bus from univerity campus in village, I was thinking of the person, who broke my heart and wishing him to be next to me at that moment. Will I ever forget him? Or I just don't want to?
My biggest fear for those months of being leftt was that one day I eventually would. The life would go on, I would care about him any longer. And it would stay in memory only as another story.
But this entire day, even though Valentine's Day definetely already passed, I was scared that I will never manage to forget the man, with whom I saw my long next years of life sitting at the fireplace and watching grandchildren playing around.
Isn't it the hardest understanding that you will not be with the person you are dreaming of under any circumstances? Understanding that the man, you did and do love, apparently not the one, you used to know anymore. Wishing and at the same time not wanting to be with him? 'Cause you were so wrong about him.
Knowing that in couple of months semester will end and both of you will head to different parts of the world and then one more year and probably you will have no opportunity to see this person again in your life. But seeing you every day everywhere in everyone.
How will it go? Will you meet someone, who will manage to fill the emptiness in you or you will stay so hollow for the rest of life?
I am living every day, feeling how time is passing by, trying to fix life but not really being able to do it. I am so scared of this close future that cannot even make any more or less decent decision.
And the only thoughts I have are that I miss you, I miss myself, I miss the times I thought everything would be different, your smell on my hands, face and body after I left your place, the feeling of your warm arms around me, the feeling of safe.
They say it is time heals everything. But how much time is it needed for you?
You are trying to breath, seizing air with your dried lips, but all you feel inside is pain that comes out with tears.
They say that scars will heal soon.
But how much time it will take to heal a broken heart? Even if scars have disapeared from the surface, does it mean that it does not hurt anymore?
Sitting today at the bus from univerity campus in village, I was thinking of the person, who broke my heart and wishing him to be next to me at that moment. Will I ever forget him? Or I just don't want to?
My biggest fear for those months of being leftt was that one day I eventually would. The life would go on, I would care about him any longer. And it would stay in memory only as another story.
But this entire day, even though Valentine's Day definetely already passed, I was scared that I will never manage to forget the man, with whom I saw my long next years of life sitting at the fireplace and watching grandchildren playing around.
Isn't it the hardest understanding that you will not be with the person you are dreaming of under any circumstances? Understanding that the man, you did and do love, apparently not the one, you used to know anymore. Wishing and at the same time not wanting to be with him? 'Cause you were so wrong about him.
Knowing that in couple of months semester will end and both of you will head to different parts of the world and then one more year and probably you will have no opportunity to see this person again in your life. But seeing you every day everywhere in everyone.
How will it go? Will you meet someone, who will manage to fill the emptiness in you or you will stay so hollow for the rest of life?
I am living every day, feeling how time is passing by, trying to fix life but not really being able to do it. I am so scared of this close future that cannot even make any more or less decent decision.
And the only thoughts I have are that I miss you, I miss myself, I miss the times I thought everything would be different, your smell on my hands, face and body after I left your place, the feeling of your warm arms around me, the feeling of safe.
They say it is time heals everything. But how much time is it needed for you?
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